6 July, 1974

After some time Master was sick again. Due to the situation in the world, due to the problems of the whole world as well as of the disciples, He was physically never healthy. On 6 July, Master was again at Dehra Dun. I went there as per direction of Baba Jaimal Singh in meditation. Baba Jaimal Singh told, "Go to your Master, He should not take any allopathic medicine. Doctors  diagnose an asthmatic case but it is not so. He does not suffer from any trouble. If He takes that it will create problems for Him. Because if this drug is taken, what will happen? His lungs will not supply oxygen to the brain, so problems will arise."

On 6 July, I went direct to Master from Amritsar. Master asked, "Have you brought some message?" I said, "Yes, Master, You should not take the allopathic medicine." Master asked, "Then what should I take?" I said, "Master, You take homeopathic medicine or those Indian herbs, called Ayurvedic medicine. These will fit You. Doctors think You are suffering from asthma, but – really You do not suffer from asthma." Master said, "It is right. I do not suffer from asthma." Then Master said to Taiji (Master’s cook), "Come, you always say that I should be healthy. But now you write down the date. After one and a half month I will not take any medicine, then I will be very healthy."

So even Taiji could not understand. No one, even I could not understand but we were afraid that this will come (Master’s physical departure). These days were very shaky for us. Neither we could live here nor we could go there. Whole the time we were thinking about the Master, about the situation, about the health of the Master. But we never knew that Master would leave us. No one knew that Master would do like this. But Master gave the definite hint. It was the 6 July, so 21 August comes after one and a half month, forty-five days exactly.

Then Master said, "Alright, you have stopped my medicine, then I will come to your house." Three times Master said it. Since I could not understand the meaning I got silent. I wanted to bow down my head on His feet but Master withdrew His feet. He immediately laid His hand close to my heart. I caught hold of His arm and pressed it to my heart. At once a voice touched my ears, "Now you need His hand (help)." I started to weep bitterly, it was beyond my control and thought. Master asked me to raise the head and see into His eyes, and I did so. I saw a fresh, green two-leaved jasmine with two flowers in His hand.

He gave it to me and said, "This is for both of you. This is the Parshad which Master gives only one time during His life."

27 July, 1974, Birthday of Hazur Baba Sawan Singh

On 26 - 28 July, 1974 Sant Kirpal Singh Ji held the Rastrya Sant Samagam (National convocation of saints). Swami Savargya Muni, Swami Govinda Parkash, Swami Ved Vyasa Nand Ji and Lama Kushak Bekula and some ministers also participated in the convocation. As there was not enough place in the Ashram, the Satsang was held outside at some other place.

It was very hot and Master was not in good health. The Satsang was not finished yet, but a lot of people already came into the Ashram and sat down to get the first turn of food. The Ashram got crowded up to the outer gates and Master could not enter into the Ashram. He had to wait nearly fifteen minutes outside the Ashram in the scorching heat of the sun. His condition was such that He was unable to sit in the car. Then Master came on foot. Master was very unhappy. It was a routine that everyone should hear the Satsang first, then Master goes to the kitchen and then afterwards the food is delivered. But people did not listen to the Satsang. Half of them already had come to the Ashram, just to have their turn for food beforehand. When Master finally could enter it, He said, "Alright, this place will remain a place only for the langar (langar means for the food). People will fight for the food here like dogs."

Then Master went inside. He was breathing very fast. "Alright, Doctor, lock the door, no one should come in", He said. Master sat down and holding both His hands on His head He took a sigh and said, "How beautiful would it have been, if I had gone today."

It was a beautiful day, it was the birthday of His Master Baba Sawan Singh. So He wanted to go on this day. I wept. I said, "Master, why do You say this thing? Such things have no place in our heart." Then Master said, "Either the managing body will live or I will prolong, both cannot exist together." It was the extreme, something of the extreme, that Master had to explain. Really, I had no remedy for this thing. Master was very unhappy, these things came through His holy mouth and He said it. I said, "Master, You come up. I give You a little massage and You will be healthy." Master said, "How can I be healthy, even tomorrow I have to give the initiation again."

Master slowly, slowly went upstairs in His room. There I started giving Him a massage. Holding my hand, Master said, "Doctor, check the pulse, for how long will this patient linger on?" I again asked the Master, "After all, why do You mention such things again and again?"

Master slowly said, "I have said it now." Then immediately He said lovably, "Master does not leave His children. Be sure that this Power will not leave you."

Then Master asked about my programme. I told Him that we had come from His agriculture farm at Nawanshar along with thirty disciples from Amritsar and Nawanshar and that they all wanted to go back to work there. Master said, "Today I will not give Parshad to anybody except to those who have come with you from the farm." Darshan Singh, the elder son of the Master, brought the Parshad. Master told him to leave the Parshad and go. This time Master put His attention on the sweets in the basket for more then one minute and told that no one else should have the Parshad except those who are going back to work.

My usual practice was to take the Parshad afterwards. I and my wife got the Parshad after all others had taken. Master, while giving the Parshad, kept on looking in our eyes and gave many hands full of Parshad. We begged leave, but Master said, "Doctor, I have a special work. Therefore you must be here before 20 August."

As Master was not in good health, He told something which made my heart overbrimming with anxiety and fear. I begged to stay up to that date, but Master refused to accept my opinion. While we were going downstairs, we looked back and saw Master looking at us. His eyes were full of tears.

This was the first time we felt uneasy, and we were frightened by the thought of separation. I thought more and more and could not stop thinking, I got entangled and could not come to any conclusion regarding all those hints Master gave during our stay in Delhi.